Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
okay pat passed out under dana's car
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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