nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Randomize
