just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
