im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
vagina is talking i cant
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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