id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Randomize
