What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
