this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
