I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
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