I like to think it a success when the cops are called
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Randomize
