One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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