I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
there is glitter all over my balls
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