We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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