Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I intend to get homeless drunk
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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