I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
