this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
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...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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