Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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