forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
