i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
