he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
