It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize