ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Randomize
