GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
This is the high leading the old right now
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize
