She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
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I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
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I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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