i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
