2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
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