allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
