I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
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Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
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Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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