i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize