I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
