Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
