It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Randomize
