Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
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