It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
