I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
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now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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