My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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