better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
