I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
When are your genitals available?
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
