Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Shame - the story of my life.
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