I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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