I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I have grass duct taped all over my body
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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