After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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