A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
