I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
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