They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
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