Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
