Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Randomize
