Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Watching her eat just hurts me
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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