He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Actions speak louder than pants.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Enjoy the penises
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
