I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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