Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
