so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
