I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
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