I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Randomize
