my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
We don't watch enough power rangers
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
