dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
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