What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
