I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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