I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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